Checklist for Christian Premarital Counseling: What to Expect?


As you embark on the exciting journey towards marriage, preparing for lifelong commitment is as crucial as planning the wedding day.

One key aspect of this preparation is premarital counseling, particularly within the Christian tradition. 

This article, "Checklist for Christian Premarital Counseling: What to Expect?" aims to provide you with a comprehensive understanding of what this process entails. 

We will delve into various aspects like personal faith, family history, spiritual intimacy, and more. 

Drawing from a variety of sources, we aim to equip you with the knowledge to make the most of your premarital counseling sessions, setting the stage for a strong, God-centered marriage.

Christian-Based Therapists in Colorado

Rebecca Johnson, LPCC, NCC

Rebecca Johnson, LPCC, NCC

Pueblo, Colorado
(719) 696-3439
Hailey Gloden, MA, LPCC, NCC

Hailey Gloden, MA, LPCC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Sarah Webster, SWC

Sarah Webster, SWC

(719) 696-3439
Seth Boughton, SWC

Seth Boughton, SWC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Meghan Purcell, LPCC

Meghan Purcell, LPCC

Pueblo, Colorado
(719) 696-3439
Bonna Machlan, Ph.D., LPC, CAS

Bonna Machlan, Ph.D., LPC, CAS

(719) 452-4374
Heather Comensky, LPC

Heather Comensky, LPC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Shannon Hamm, LPC

Shannon Hamm, LPC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 452-4374
Katherine Fijman, LPCC, LACC

Katherine Fijman, LPCC, LACC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Laura Brinkman, MA, LPCC

Laura Brinkman, MA, LPCC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121

The Importance of Christian Premarital Counseling

Christian premarital counseling plays a crucial role in strengthening relationships and setting couples up for a successful, enduring marriage. 

It is a proactive approach that helps couples understand each other better, communicate more effectively, and address potential issues before they become significant problems. 

The process provides a safe space for couples to discuss their expectations, fears, and aspirations for their married life. 

By doing this, couples can build a strong foundation for their marriage based on mutual understanding, respect, and love.

The essence of Christian premarital counseling lies in its biblical basis and principles. It is grounded in the teachings of the Bible about marriage, love, and commitment. 

The scripture in Ephesians 5:25, which states, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," serves as a poignant reminder of the selfless love and sacrifice that should be the cornerstone of a Christian marriage. 

Similarly, Proverbs 24:3-4 states, "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding, it is established; through knowledge, its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." 

This underlines the importance of gaining wisdom and understanding through counseling before embarking on the marital journey. 

In essence, Christian premarital counseling helps couples align their relationship and future marriage with God's plan and purpose.

Checklist for Christian Premarital Counseling: Key Topics to Address

A. Spiritual Beliefs

Spiritual beliefs play a significant role in the dynamics of a relationship. It's essential to understand and respect each other's spiritual journey, acknowledging that it may differ from one's own. 

This understanding fosters an environment of mutual respect and empathy.

Additionally, discussing the role of faith in marriage is crucial. This conversation can help to align expectations concerning practices like prayer, worship, and religious rituals within the marital home.

By addressing these topics proactively, couples can avoid potential conflicts and misunderstandings down the line.

B. Communication

Open and honest communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, especially marriage. It paves the way for trust, understanding, and mutual respect. 

By expressing thoughts, feelings, and concerns clearly, couples can avoid misunderstandings and build a stronger bond.

Improving communication skills often involves active listening, expressing oneself clearly, and being receptive to feedback. 

Strategies may include practicing empathy, using "I" statements to express feelings, and setting aside regular time for undistracted conversation. 

These strategies can be honed during premarital counseling and applied throughout married life.

C. Conflict Resolution

Resolving conflicts effectively is key to a healthy relationship. Biblical principles for conflict resolution include humility, forgiveness, love, and action. 

These principles emphasize understanding and empathy for your fellow man, striving for peace, and reconciling with each other.

Effective conflict resolution strategies involve open communication, active listening, and mutual respect. 

A biblical method of confrontation, as taught in Matthew 18:15-17, can be a useful tool. This involves addressing the issue directly but respectfully with the person involved. 

Other tools include seeking forgiveness, owning up to one's part in the conflict, and making an effort to restore the relationship. 

D. Finances

Discussing financial values and goals is a crucial part of preparing for a shared life.

It involves understanding each other's spending habits, saving goals, and attitudes towards money. This can help in aligning financial expectations and avoiding potential conflicts.

Planning for financial stability involves setting a budget, saving for emergencies, and making investment plans. 

It also includes discussing how to handle debts and financial obligations. Generosity, too, is a key aspect of financial planning, and it entails deciding how much and in what ways to give back to the community or contribute to charitable causes.

E. Roles and Responsibilities

Biblical roles in marriage are based on mutual respect, love, and submission. For instance, Ephesians 5:21-33 outlines the roles of husbands and wives, emphasizing mutual love and respect.

Discussing expectations and responsibilities helps to clarify who will be responsible for what in the marriage. 

This could cover a variety of topics, from household chores to financial responsibilities, to parenting roles. 

Both partners need to have a clear understanding of their roles and responsibilities to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.

F. Intimacy

A biblical understanding of intimacy extends beyond the physical. It encompasses emotional, intellectual, and spiritual closeness as well, as depicted in passages like Genesis 2:24 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

Discussing expectations, boundaries, and concerns about intimacy is crucial. 

This conversation should include understanding each other's comfort zones, emotional needs, and any potential fears or insecurities.

Such discussions promote mutual respect and create a safe space for both partners. 

G. Family and Parenting

Discussing desires and plans for children involves conversations about whether to have kids, when to have them, and parenting styles.

It's important to align on these aspects to ensure a harmonious family life.

Understanding the influence of family backgrounds helps recognize patterns, values, or traditions that one might want to carry forward or change. This understanding aids in building a shared vision for your future family.

H. Life Goals

Sharing individual life goals and dreams helps partners understand each other's aspirations, which can range from career ambitions to personal growth targets.

Discussing how these goals align with each other and with God's plan allows for a shared vision in the relationship.

It ensures that both partners are working towards common objectives while honoring their spiritual beliefs. 

How to Make the Most of Christian Premarital Counseling

To make the most of Christian premarital counseling, it's vital to be open and receptive during sessions. 

This means being honest about your feelings, fears, and hopes. It also involves listening intently to your partner and striving to understand their perspective. 

Additionally, prayer and scripture play a crucial role in the process. Praying together can enhance unity and openness while reflecting on biblical teachings can provide guidance and wisdom. 

By incorporating these elements into your counseling journey, you'll be better equipped to build a strong, God-centered marriage. 


Christian premarital counseling is a crucial step in preparing for a fulfilling and God-centered marriage.

It provides couples with the tools necessary to navigate potential challenges and fosters understanding, communication, and mutual respect. 

It's an investment in your future together, offering invaluable insights that can shape a strong, enduring bond. 

Therefore, it's highly encouraged for couples to invest time and effort into this process. Remember, the foundation you build now will support your relationship for years to come. 

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December 1st, 2023

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