Tips on How to Create Consequences for Your Child
Letting a child go scot-free after being disrespectful, violent, or disobedient can only end in stunted mental well-being for the child.
Hence, it's essential that you create consequences for your child if you want them to function correctly with excellent mental well-being.
When creating the consequences, avoid canceling or making them miss family events.
Regardless of how terrible their offense is, try to make family events an exception.
The events may even allow them to realize their faults and become extra-remorseful.
Similarly, you should link the consequences to their bad behavior.
Doing this will keep the behavior in the forefront of their mind, enabling them to rethink their actions, apologize for them, and change for the better.
Instead of making the consequences emotion-based where you ignore or ostracize them to make them feel bad, it will be best to make them task-based.
This way, they can do something productive while reflecting on their actions.
For tips on how to create consequences for your child, consider reading this overview:
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Do Not Include Family Events in Consequences
Although taking activities away from your child can help discipline them, it's best to limit that to mundane events.
When creating consequences for your child, avoid telling them not to attend a family event.
Also, try to avoid canceling a family event because of them.
A family event is generally sacred, and the experience can't be replicated.
For example, a 14th birthday can't be experienced again.
If the child misses their brother's birthday because of your consequence, they will be forever bitter about it.
In the future, they won't see their actions as strong enough to demand such stringent consequences.
Therefore, it's better to create other consequences and make them do them before or after the family event.
They will always remember you protecting family traditions and upholding familial love, helping them to develop reinforced mental well-being.
Accepting their presence at the family event will also show that you love them despite the discipline.
Link the Consequence to Their Bad Behavior
When your child does something terrible, making the consequence related to the behavior is essential for making the lesson stick.
So, creating consequences for your child requires some thinking to enable you to pick the most relatable consequence for their offense.
An example is if your child fails to wash the dishes as you have instructed, you can make their consequence dishwashing.
You can have them wash the dishes for an extra three days, allowing them to remember their offense whenever they want to wash them.
Similarly, if their offense was not folding their laundry correctly after washing, you can have them be in charge of folding everyone's laundry.
This will make their minds stick to the offense since they can remember it throughout their time folding the laundry.
If you can hack this tip, you can give your child unending consequences since you only have to think of tasks related to their offense.
With their mind on the grueling tasks, they will know not to repeat the behavior.
Make the Consequences About Tasks
Punishing children with emotional neglect or abuse can only result in terrible mental well-being.
What you should do while creating consequences for your child is give them tasks to do to enable them to think while being productive.
With tasks, your child will also learn some life skills from them.
If the consequence is mowing the lawn, your child will gain the mowing skill. If it's doing the dishes, your child will get better at doing them.
If it's cooking for the family, that's yet another life skill to be learned.
Doing tasks at home will also make them appreciate your work as a parent more.
They will see how hard it is to do many tasks and still function effectively as child-rearers.
They will also learn to behave better to lessen their burdens.
Your task-based consequences will also build a strong work ethic in them.
Although it may not be your intention, having to perform tasks as a consequence of their wrongdoings will enable them to become more hardworking.
Understand That Consequences are About Learning
Outlining consequences for your child should be done to teach and educate them.
If you do it to punish them, you are doing it wrong, and it may backfire if the punishments distort the development of their mental well-being.
If you are punishing them instead of creating consequences, you are overreacting.
Overreacting doesn't help kids since they are just growing into their emotions, and your well-developed emotions will snuff out their attempts to understand and develop.
Instead, you should calm down and explain things well to them.
Give them the consequences and tell them why you gave them.
Furthermore, tell them what you expect of them after they complete the consequences.
If you eventually resort to punishments, it may indicate your laziness in proper parenting.
You should understand that being a parent requires dedication and hard work.
Be a better parent and help your child achieve great mental well-being.
Balance Consequences With Rewards
As you create consequences for your child when they do wrong, remember to make rewards for their good deeds.
Since only adverse effects will cause the child to be constantly afraid, it would be best to have a counterweight in the form of prizes and praises to give them.
For example, you can have them miss one dishwashing day as a reward for not missing any day during the week.
This will encourage them to stick to the good path and enjoy more benefits.
Similarly, the rewards will increase their self-esteem since they see that they are doing well enough to get gifts.
This will push them to excel in every area of life since they expect great things after completing various milestones.
You can reward them with specific praises aimed at their particular good deeds.
You may also reward them with gifts and sweet foods.
Moreover, you can surprise them with tickets to their favorite shows, a reduction in their work, or purchasing a device they have been eyeing.
Conclusion
Creating consequences can be challenging but will benefit your child if you don't know the best tips to apply.
You should apply these tips when you want to outline consequences: don't include family events in consequences, link the consequences to the behavior, make the consequences task-based, understand that consequences are for learning, and balance the consequences with rewards.
Resources
https://www.verywellfamily.com/taking-away-privileges-to-discipline-children-1094759
https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/consequences/steps.html
https://www.momentumlife.co.nz/stories/why-kids-should-have-chores
https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-give-kids-consequences-that-work/
https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/consequences/rewards.html.
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