How to Teach Your Child to Self-Talk Positively

Children often grapple with feelings of inadequacy when facing challenges, leading to negative self talk...

Children
March 21, 2025

Children often struggle with feelings of inadequacy when facing challenges, which can lead to negative self-talk. It's important to help your child develop positive self-talk to manage their emotions and build resilience. Start by explaining how positive self-talk works and the mental health benefits it provides. Encourage your child to recognize and transform negative thoughts into positive self-talk, helping them become aware of how their inner voice influences their perspective. Teach them to practice self-love by creating their own affirmations and adopting a positive attitude. This practice can have a transformative impact, replacing negative thinking with positive emotions and behaviors, preventing a self-fulfilling prophecy of doubt. You can support your child by helping them create a list of positive statements that can help boost their confidence and self-esteem. Read on to learn more about how you can teach your child to self-talk positively.

Examples of Positive Self Talk Statements For Kids

Positive Self Talk Example

Why It's a Good Choice and How It Helps

When to Use

"I can do hard things."

This powerful tool boosts self confidence and encourages young people to tackle challenging situations, helping them build emotional resilience.

When facing a difficult homework assignment or trying a new sport.

"Mistakes help me learn and grow."

Research suggests that viewing mistakes as lessons learned can turn negative messages into positive thoughts, enhancing the internal narrative.

After receiving feedback on a project or test.

"I am proud of myself for trying."

This expression of self worth emphasizes positive affirmations, encouraging more positive self talk and diminishing the inner critic.

Following a presentation or competition.

"I choose to be happy today."

Promoting a positive attitude can influence decision making and internal dialogue, helping kids handle life's challenges with a positive mindset.

On a day with potential stressors like tests or social events.

"I am enough just as I am."

Affirming self worth helps combat negative thought patterns, fostering a sense of self love and acceptance.

When feeling pressure to fit in or meet expectations.

"I will keep trying my best."

Encouraging persistence and positive traits, this mantra supports students in embracing effort over perfection.

During ongoing projects or skill development activities.

"I have so much to be grateful for."

Maintaining a gratitude journal and focusing on positive self talk can shift the internal dialogue towards gratitude, reducing stress.

At the end of a day or week to reflect on positive experiences.

Positive self talk transforms negative thoughts into a constructive thought process, enabling individuals to tackle difficult situations with enhanced problem solving and self care. If they start replacing fear with positive mantras and a helpful self talk statement, it can boost confidence and provides hope, making students feel good as they share their experiences and overcome real life challenges. With these tips on how to boost confidence in children, and through consistent practice, you can helps manage stressful situations and diminishes negative self talk, promoting a resilient mindset.

Help Them Understand the Meaning and Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

To properly teach your child to self-talk positively, they must first understand what positive self-talk means and how they can benefit from it. Your child may not know why they need to stop being pessimistic and change their thinking. Also, introducing your child to the concept of self-talk gives you a solid foundation to properly teach them how to engage in positive self-talk. Explain what self-talk is and how practicing it can influence their thinking. In addition, teaching your child the importance of having a positive outlook on life will build their resilience and willingness to face challenges head on. Likewise, being optimistic will help them manage intense emotions and develop strategies to cope with emotional stress. Furthermore, you can use practical examples in your teachings for better understanding. You may use your personal experiences as examples of how positive thinking has helped you overcome difficult challenges to help them understand it better.

Create Awareness About Their Negative Words

Your child may not be aware of how their negative statements impact their thinking and emotions. Helping them recognize dismissive or negative words is an important step in teaching positive self-talk. It's essential to make them understand the power of words and how their choice of language affects both themselves and others. Negative words can diminish confidence and influence the thoughts of others, while studies show that using negative language can release stress chemicals in the brain. Show your child examples of negative words like "can't," "will never," "not enough," or "failure" to help them understand their impact. Encourage your child to reframe these negative thoughts into positive ones. Over time, your child will become more conscious of their language and begin replacing pessimistic thoughts with constructive ones, gradually eliminating negative words from their vocabulary.

Teach Your Child Positive Words

To teach your child to practice positive self-talk, it's important to help them learn and use affirmations that they can recite when faced with challenges. Positive affirmations not only aid in managing stress but also shift their mindset and influence their behavior. You can support your child in creating a list of affirmations and help them memorize these statements. These affirmations can reshape their thinking and guide their choices. Encouraging your child to engage in creative activities, such as drawing, writing, or making illustrations centered around positive affirmations, can further reinforce these concepts. Additionally, speaking positive words to your child, especially when they don't meet their expectations, helps them develop a resilient mindset. Over time, your child may repeat the positive words they hear from you when confronting similar challenges.

A group of women standing together smiling and laughing

Model Positive Self-Talk

As your child's first role model, your behavior and language significantly influence their development, including how they practice self-talk. Speaking positively to yourself in their presence helps teach your child the value of positive self-talk. Children often imitate the actions and language of their parents, so it's important to be mindful of how you communicate, especially in front of your child. Using negative language in their presence may lead them to adopt similar habits. Instead, model positive self-talk when facing challenges or frustrations. Your optimism and resilience can inspire your child to respond in the same way when they encounter difficulties. It's crucial to avoid negative statements in moments of self-doubt. Additionally, consider writing out positive affirmations you want your child to follow, making it easier to help them create their own list of empowering statements. Remember, you can only teach what you know, so cultivating your own positive self-talk is essential to guiding your child effectively.

Praise Their Efforts

Encouraging your child to focus on their effort rather than the result helps them develop a positive mindset and self-talk. By appreciating the hard work they put into a task, regardless of the outcome, you teach them that effort is valuable. This approach emphasizes the importance of perseverance and dedication, even when things don't turn out as planned. Praising your child before they begin a task can also enhance their focus and motivation. Positive words of encouragement can boost their self-esteem and encourage them to invest more effort into their work. It's important to avoid making negative comments about the results and instead reinforce the significance of effort. When your child learns to appreciate their own hard work, they develop a sense of self-worth and are likely to repeat behaviors that lead to positive reinforcement.

Conclusion

Developing the habit of positive self-talk is a process, but with constant practice, it can become second nature. As a parent, you can support your child through this process to build their confidence and improve their mental well-being and development. You can teach your child to self-talk positively by helping them understand what it means and how it benefits them, creating awareness around their negative words, teaching them positive words, modeling positive self-talk, and focusing on praising their efforts rather than results.

Resources

https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-teach-kids-to-engage-in-positive-self-talk-5205084

https://www.thepathway2success.com/how-to-teach-positive-self-talk/

https://www.momjunction.com/articles/positive-self-talk-for-kids-examples-importance_00708881/

https://www.parentingforbrain.com/positive-self-talk-for-kids/

https://www.parentcircle.com/how-to-teach-children-positive-self-talk/article

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Children

How can I help my child persist when things get tough?

Help your child by providing support and guidance, using positive language, highlighting the progress they have made, breaking down the challenge into smaller steps, and motivating them with positive affirmations.