How to Get Your Child to Listen to You Without Yelling at Them

How to Get Your Child to Listen to You Without Yelling at Them

As a parent, you want to give your child support, yet you find yourself yelling at your child.

However, yelling can hurt the mental well-being of your child in the long term.

This is why learning to get your child to listen to you without needing to yell.

Although you make most decisions for your child, treating them with respect is important.

It would help get your child to listen to you if you mixed commands with requests when talking with your child.

Children respond well to options.

A great way to get your child to listen to you is by presenting your child with an opportunity to select one of two options you approve of.

Your child might get overwhelmed if you offer many options, so consider limiting the choice to only two options.

A simple method to get your child to listen to you without resorting to yelling is to first connect with your child.

By connection, this means getting your child to focus on you.

After you have connected with your child, you can subsequently give instructions.

Find out how to get your child to listen to you without needing to yell below:

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Melissa Peterson, LPC

Melissa Peterson, LPC

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Treat Them With Respect 

Even children appreciate it when you treat them with respect.

If your child feels oppressed by you, your child will likely respond defensively.

This might eventually lead to yelling.

Most parents constantly command their children.

You would be surprised to find out that trying a different approach to commanding might be more effective on your child.

It would help you stop yelling at your child if you sometimes invited cooperation from them.

In some circumstances, it would help your child listen to you if you invited cooperation from your child.

To invite cooperation, you only have to adjust your tone and words.

For instance, if you want your child to take out the trash, consider asking your child to assist you rather than commanding your child to take out the trash.

When you treat your child with respect, you are more likely to get your child to listen to you.

There will be times you might need to command your child.

A good trick with commands is to use them sparingly so your child feels the urgency and potency of the command.

Give Them Choices 

Children barely ever get many choices in their lives.

You probably made most decisions for your child.

It is possible that your child is rebelling against more decisions from you, and this is why you have to resort to yelling.

An approach you can try to get your child to listen to you without yelling at them is to give your child choices.

Giving your child a choice might help your child feel responsible for some decisions.

It would help with your child's instinct for autonomy to have options.

You can present your instructions to your child as a choice.

For instance, you can ask your child to pick between a blue and green coat for school.

Too many options can overwhelm your child, so a good rule of thumb is to limit the options to two.

There are some instances when you can't give your child a choice.

Here, consider using time as a trick.

For example, if you have a short window for breakfast before school, you could present your child with the option of eating now or in five minutes.

Connect With Them

A good way for your child to listen to you without yelling at them is to ensure you connect with your child before speaking to your child.

Children usually get deeply engrossed in other things.

It is possible that your child might be unable to listen or focus on what you said.

If you speak to your child before you have the attention of your child, it is easy for your child to miss what you said or even ignore you.

It would help you get your child to listen to you without yelling to connect with them before talking to them.

Connection is basically ensuring that your child is focused on you and listening.

Connection to your child usually requires you to be close to your child.

Making good eye-to-eye contact with your child is also essential to connect.

You could connect with your child by dropping down to your child's level and making solid eye-to-eye contact.

It is not always possible to be very close to your child and make eye contact.

Another effective way to connect with your child would be to call your child's name first.

The important thing here is to ensure that your child is focused on you.

Make it Short 

Children who get lectured often learn how to tune out most of the lecture.

This is particularly so when there is a lot of repetition in the lecture.

A great decision to get your child to listen to you without you needing to yell is to make it short.

You might find yourself in the minute of giving your child a speech before you are even aware of it.

Frequent lecturing of your child will likely reduce the potency of the lectures.

It is possible that your child has gotten lost in thoughts while you were speaking.

Consider making your instructions to your child as brief as you can.

It would help your child if you focused on the action part of your instructions.

This would mean you remove the extra details, except when the other details are necessary.

Children get distracted easily; making short instructions gives them the opportunity to grab your instructions quickly.

An excellent approach to try would be to use a one or two-step direction.

For instance, 'Go upstairs and brush your teeth now'.

Try Not to Yell

It might be difficult to stop yelling at your child.

After all, most parents have yelled at their children at some point.

However, if you can stop yourself, you might never need to yell at your child again.

Children are very clever and pick up several things.

When you have to yell at your child to get your child to listen to you, your child might pick up signs that you can be ignored until you start to yell.

This means that by yelling, you are only teaching your child that yelling is how you communicate.

Over time, it is possible yelling is no longer enough to get your child to listen.

Since your child is always learning from you, it is also possible that your child will likely resort to yelling at other people similarly to you.

This is why it is important to manage your emotions and resist yelling to get your child to listen.

Without raising your voice, consider speaking very firmly to your child.

You can follow up with a warning about the natural consequences of your child's actions.

If your child still doesn't respond, proceed with the natural consequences.

For instance, your child might lose toy privileges if your child refuses to stop throwing them.


Most parents rely on yelling to get their children to listen to them. 

However, yelling has long-term negative effects on the mental well-being of a child. 

You can provide your child support without yelling when you treat your child with respect, give your child options, connect with your child, make your instructions short, and don't yell.


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July 24th, 2024

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