5 Tips to Help a Child Shunned at School

5 Tips to Help a Child Shunned at School

Being socially excluded at school can be devastating for your child.

It may cause damage to their emotional, academic, and mental well-being.

Without proper attention, your child might grow up developing a negative mindset and outlook on life.

Although it may be impossible to prevent your child from being shunned at school, there are ways you can help a child shunned at school.

As a parent, you can support your child by helping them develop their social skill.

Their lack of social skills may be the reason they are being shunned at school.

Therefore, you can build your child's communication skills to improve their interpersonal relationships and interaction in social settings.

Also, offer a listening ear.

When your child comes to you to open up about their experiences, listen to them attentively and try not to interrupt.

Listening can go a long way in making them feel heard.

Furthermore, encourage your child to have other friends outside of school.

Having friends in other social settings can help them overcome the fact that they are being shunned at school.

Read on to learn tips to help a child shunned at school:

Children Therapists in Colorado

Naomi Kettner, LPC, NCC

Naomi Kettner, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 452-4374
Lauren Wilkerson, SWC

Lauren Wilkerson, SWC

(719) 345-2424
Margot Bean, LCSW

Margot Bean, LCSW

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Cassondra Chagnon, LPCC

Cassondra Chagnon, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 481-3518
Melissa Peterson, LPC

Melissa Peterson, LPC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Jenifer Seas, LCSW

Jenifer Seas, LCSW

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 452-4374

Teach Them How to Develop Their Social Skills 

Being unsure of how to socialize and converse with others may be why they are ignored at school.

Helping to develop social skills is a way to help a child shunned at school.

Also, talk to your child about how to start a conversation.

You may teach them how basic conversation starters like "Hi" and "How are you?" can get them the attention they need to start a conversation with others.

Similarly, knowing how to start a conversation may not be enough; your child also needs to know how to keep the conversation going.

Explain to your child that a conversation is supposed to be between two people, and taking turns to listen without interjecting keeps a conversation going.

Furthermore, another essential social skill is respect for other people's personal space.

Nobody would like to be friends with someone who has no regard for another person's personal space.

It may make your child come across as needy and unbearable. 

Be a Good Listener

Try not to react too quickly when your child comes home from school and shares that they are being left out in school.

Listening without interruption may help a child shunned at school feel heard and safe to share their feelings.

When your child complains to you, encourage them to talk and ensure they feel safe sharing with you.

If your child feels you would judge them if they open up to you, they might choose to keep mute about their feelings.

Similarly, avoid saying anything that could insinuate that they should try harder to be liked.

Instead, focus on listening and empathizing with them.

Help them understand that they are not the problem and that no one deserves to be shunned.

Furthermore, listening to your child helps to validate their feelings.

Showing interest lets them know that you understand their feelings and are willing to listen.

Likewise, sharing their feelings may lessen their burden or emotional pain.

Help Them Make Friends Outside the School 

Having other friends outside of school may help a child shunned at school.

Encourage your child to make friends at other social gatherings, including your place of worship, the park, or even your neighborhood.

Knowing that their schoolmates are not the only potential friends may make them feel much better about their situation.

Also, an excellent way to find more friends for your child is by signing them up for after-school programs like scouts, music and art clubs, etc.

Branching out can help them find people with the same interests and develop life-long friendships.

Similarly, you can support your child by organizing small events like playdates or sleepovers and inviting their classmates.

When your child's schoolmates hang out with them outside of their school environment, it may help them warm up to your child.

In addition, avoid discouraging your child from attending social functions.

When parents of other children invite your child for an event like birthday parties, allow them to attend as it may give your child the opportunity to bond with others.

Don't be Hasty to Fix the Situation 

As a parent, it is expected that your first instinct is to go to your child's school to solve this issue.

Resisting the urge to help and trusting your child's decision is a way to help a child shunned at school.

Also, before taking any decision, make sure to assess the situation.

You may have to visit their school to speak with their teacher and learn more about the problem your child is facing.

Doing this helps you to know if your child's schoolmates are unnecessarily mean or if your child is the reason for their social exclusion.

Similarly, after hearing from your child, give them the opportunity to handle the situation independently.

This may show your child that you trust their decisions and may influence their self-esteem.

Furthermore, even though you are trying not to get involved, be there as a backup when they need it.

Doing this shows them they still have your support even though you trust their decision.

Seek Professional Help 

Facing social exclusion can negatively influence your child's emotional well-being.

You may need professional advice to help a child shunned at school.

Having your child speak to a counselor or therapist can help them deal with the negative emotions of social exclusion.

Even though your child does not look affected by the situation, it is still okay to seek help to be on the safer side.

Similarly, if you notice your child experiences fear of social interactions, this could be indicative of an underlying mental health condition.

Talk to a child psychiatrist or therapist if you have concerns about your child's social development.

Furthermore, it may help your child to talk to someone besides you.

Counselors and therapists will be more objective and less emotionally involved.

They may also be able to give suggestions you may not have considered. 


Dealing with social exclusion may be very challenging.

It may negatively influence your child's mental well-being and leave them feeling physically and emotionally exhausted.

As a parent, you must find ways to support your child when they tell you that they are being shunned at school.

You may help a child shunned at school by teaching them to develop their social skills, being a good listener, helping them make friends outside of school, trusting them to handle the situation, and seeking professional help.


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July 24th, 2024

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