5 Things to Teach Autistic People to Date Effectively

5 Things to Teach Autistic People to Date Effectively

For people with autistic spectrum disorder, having romantic relationships can be a real struggle.

This is because dating involves factors such as communication, initiating a romantic relationship, self-awareness, compromise, socializing and more, which can be challenging for autistic people.

To provide support for autism, you'll need to learn important tips you can teach autistic people to date effectively.

For one, having good manners in a social setting is essential when dating a potential partner.

Best believe your date is taking notice of your mannerisms, words, and actions the moment you walk through the door. So it is vital to create an excellent first impression.

Also, how you present yourself on a date can significantly determine how the progress of the relationship.

Your date will first notice your dressing, cleanliness, dental hygiene, table manners, and personal hygiene before getting to know you.

Thus, you must present yourself in a good way.

In addition, it is essential to be upfront about your sensory differences with your date.

As an autistic individual, it is normal to have specific autistic symptoms that can differentiate you from neurotypical people.

Discuss with your date ahead of time about your sensory needs and preferences that can influence your date plans.

Read on to learn five things to teach autistic people to date effectively:

Autism Therapists in Colorado

Laura Brinkman, MA, LPCC

Laura Brinkman, MA, LPCC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Joseph Anders, LPCC

Joseph Anders, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 481-3518
Sierra Brown, SWC

Sierra Brown, SWC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Samantha Zavala, LPCC

Samantha Zavala, LPCC

Aurora, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Melissa Peterson, LPC

Melissa Peterson, LPC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Clarissa Mendez, LSW

Clarissa Mendez, LSW

Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Deja Howard, MSW, SWC

Deja Howard, MSW, SWC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Vanessa Curran, LPCC

Vanessa Curran, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Arias Gonzales, MS, LPC, NCC, EMDR-Trained

Arias Gonzales, MS, LPC, NCC, EMDR-Trained

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Julie Maloney, LPCC

Julie Maloney, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424

Learn Basic Manners 

Good manners are essential for kickstarting and maintaining a positive and healthy dating experience.

Thus one tip you can teach autistic people to date effectively is to work on their basic manners.

When meeting a date, being on your best behavior is essential.

As an autistic person, you must take note of your responses and behaviors toward your date.

Avoid talking with your mouth full, raising your voice in quiet places like the movies, or zoning out the conversation.

Also, it is vital to maintain a good and positive attitude while communicating with a date.

Be polite and respectful, ask questions politely, avoid interrupting, maintain a good level of curiosity, be generous, compliment them and smile more.

Good mannerism is sexy, attractive, and appealing.

It is a vital key to igniting the flame of a romantic relationship and dating effectively.

More importantly, maintaining good manners during a relationship will positively impact your verbal communication, deepen your bond and lead to a satisfying intimate life. 

Present Yourself in a Good Way

An important tip you can teach autistic people to date effectively is to present themself in a good way at all times.

Your self-presentation matters a lot, especially when navigating the complicated dating world.

Presenting yourself in a good way includes looking your best when going out on a date.

How you dress and look tidy will create an impression of you on your date.

When picking what to wear, it is a good idea to consider the environment, activity, and weather.

Ensure your clothes are clean and smart looking.

It is also important to consider personal hygiene- Do you smell sweaty? Do you have good dental hygiene? How does your hair look?

For autistic people, who may be sensitive to the smell of perfumes, there are alternatives like essential oils and natural perfumes that are effective.

In addition, having good table manners is a must to ensure your date is a success.

This can be challenging for an autistic person but can easily be worked on.

Don't be messy.

Don't make loud noises in a serene environment.

Don't talk while chewing. Following appropriate dining etiquette will surely add extra points to your self-presentation.

Communicate Well With Your Date

Another tip you can teach autistic people to date effectively is how to communicate with their date.

Although verbal communication can be a real challenge for individuals with autism, communication is key to a successful romantic relationship in the dating world.

When on a date, don't assume your date understands your interest simply because you are present.

Ask relevant questions, remain present, be curious, be funny and show your interest.

Likewise, knowing the right questions to ask can sometimes be difficult.

This often leads to an important question: What do I say? While it might seem easier to copy a list of questions to ask your date, it is more important to be yourself.

Speak freely yet respectfully to your date. Be light and fun!

In addition, you don't want to do all the talking on your date.

Taking time to actively listen to your date is an important aspect of communication.

It speaks well of your character and shows your date that you're interested in knowing more about them.

Autism Therapists in Colorado

Autism Therapists in Colorado

Laura Brinkman, MA, LPCC

Laura Brinkman, MA, LPCC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Joseph Anders, LPCC

Joseph Anders, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 481-3518
Sierra Brown, SWC

Sierra Brown, SWC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Samantha Zavala, LPCC

Samantha Zavala, LPCC

Aurora, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Melissa Peterson, LPC

Melissa Peterson, LPC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Clarissa Mendez, LSW

Clarissa Mendez, LSW

Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Deja Howard, MSW, SWC

Deja Howard, MSW, SWC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Vanessa Curran, LPCC

Vanessa Curran, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Arias Gonzales, MS, LPC, NCC, EMDR-Trained

Arias Gonzales, MS, LPC, NCC, EMDR-Trained

Colorado
(719) 345-2424
Julie Maloney, LPCC

Julie Maloney, LPCC

Colorado
(719) 345-2424

Date People With Similarities 

For autistic people, dating someone with differing characters, values, and interests can be challenging.

Hence, one important tip you can teach autistic people to date effectively is to find someone with common traits with them.

One advantage of dating someone similar is that conversations become much easier.

For autistic people who don't like communicating verbally, it can be difficult to date someone who wants to talk a lot.

On the other hand, a quiet person may be a better match.

Also, most individuals with autism have unique interests they hold dearly.

Dating someone with similar interests can make the dating experience much more fun.

They will have more things to talk about, understand each other better, and ultimately set the pace for a long-lasting relationship.

It's easier to build understanding and trust and work together as a team when your partner is similar to you.

A potential partner can have different traits but enough similarities to ensure progress in the relationship. 

Be Upfront About Your Sensory Sensitivities 

People with autism have varying reactions to sensory stimulation.

Often, their sensory processing can affect what they can eat, smell, touch, and the environment they will feel comfortable in.

Thus, one essential tip you can teach autistic people to date effectively is to be upfront about sensory needs and preferences.

As an autistic person, if you find loud noises or crowded places uncomfortable and overwhelming, you may need to communicate with your date about places you can and cannot visit.

To make your date feel involved, you can list suitable options that they can choose from.

Likewise, most romantic relationships require various forms of intimacy and physical connections which often involves touch.

If you find touch or bodily contact uncomfortable, you need to share this information with your partner at the onset of your relationship.

In addition, it is crucial to enquire about your partner's sensory needs.

Generally, people have different thresholds regarding their preferences and needs in a relationship.

Discussing each other's sensory needs helps establish mutual understanding and makes dating easier.

Conclusion

People on the autism spectrum desire to have romantic relationships; however, due to the autism-related challenges they experience, they often struggle to date effectively.

To provide support for autism and assist an autistic loved one in safely sailing through the complicated world, you'll need to learn how to teach autistic people to date effectively.

You can encourage your autistic loved one to learn basic manners, present themself in a good way, communicate better, date people with similarities, and be upfront about sensory differences. 

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July 24th, 2024

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