How To Overcome Insecurity and Cultivate Emotional Stability

How To Overcome Insecurity and Cultivate Emotional Stability

How can we overcome insecurity?

Insecurity is often the biggest roadblock to success in your career and personal relationships. 

It's crucial to learn how to overcome feelings of inadequacy because they can prevent you from fulfilling your full potential in all areas of your life.

Fortunately, there are strategies you can use to overcome insecurities and cultivate emotional stability, which will lead to a more fulfilling life.

Let's explore some tips on how to overcome insecurity and establish a strong emotional foundation.

Anxiety Therapists in Colorado

Shannon Hamm, LPC, CCTP

Shannon Hamm, LPC, CCTP

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 452-4374
Jackie Erwin, LPC

Jackie Erwin, LPC

(719) 345-2424
Bonna Machlan, Ph.D., LPC, CAS

Bonna Machlan, Ph.D., LPC, CAS

(719) 452-4374
Julie Maloney, LPCC

Julie Maloney, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

Jessica Gutierrez-Gaytan, SWC

(719) 345-2424
Paitton Callery, LPCC, ATR-P

Paitton Callery, LPCC, ATR-P

Pueblo, Colorado
(719) 696-3439
Kimberly Nefflen, LPCC

Kimberly Nefflen, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Joel Harms, MA, LPC

Joel Harms, MA, LPC

(720) 449-4121
Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

Donna Janiec, LPC, NCC

(719) 345-2424
Abigail Corless, LPCC

Abigail Corless, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Whittney Romero, MA, LPCC

Whittney Romero, MA, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Jasleen Karir, SWC

Jasleen Karir, SWC

Aurora, Colorado
(720) 449-4121
Deja Howard, MSW, SWC

Deja Howard, MSW, SWC

(719) 345-2424
Stephanie Kol, LPCC

Stephanie Kol, LPCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021
Mallory Heise, LPC, LAC

Mallory Heise, LPC, LAC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342

What Is Insecurity?

Every aspect of our life can be affected by feelings of insecurity. 

We can be insecure about our appearance and what people think of us. Often, it also takes the form of self-doubt about our ability to perform our duties at work.

Most people feel these feelings for just a moment, and then move on with their day as usual.

However, for others, insecurity becomes part of their identity. It makes them feel like they are unworthy.

Insecurities can be caused by:

  • lack of self-confidence
  • comparing yourself with others
  • being overly critical of yourself and your abilities
  • being overly sensitive to criticism from others

An insecure person could feel anxious when meeting new people or dealing with conflict in relationships.

Let's look at how insecurity impacts different areas of our lives.

Insecurity in Relationships

Anxiety in relationships is very common. Insecurity can lead you to believe that you don't deserve your spouse or that you're not good enough to make them happy. 

Often, it leads to jealousy, resentment, and disagreements between partners.

Having insecurities in your relationship can lead to increased emotional distance between partners, which can ultimately cause misunderstanding, fights, and breakups.

It can also cause you to blame your partner for issues in your relationship that are not entirely their fault.

Depending on your situation, you may feel like you need to constantly check on them or that they're lying when they say they're working late or going out with friends. 

If you are grappling with these feelings, you need to learn to manage them before they become overwhelming and cause you to hurt those you love.

Professional Anxiety

Professional anxiety involves feeling stressed, nervous, uneasy, or tense about work. 

You may feel overwhelmed and worried about not doing well at work, causing you to fear losing your job.

Anyone suffering from these insecurities may feel self-doubt and feel like they can't compete with their peers.

Professional anxiety can be crippling since it inhibits you from performing at your best. 

The lack of motivation might make it difficult for you to get out of bed in the morning and start your day.

This can result in many missed opportunities.


Our insecurities may lead us to dislike certain aspects of ourselves, such as our appearance. 

It could make you believe your life would be better if you looked a certain way. 

This thinking may appear superficial, but it usually stems from deeper problems, such as low self-esteem and negative body image.

Feelings of inadequacy can become so overwhelming that they can lead to anxiety disorders such as social anxiety or panic disorder. 

This can lead to destructive behaviors such as procrastination and perfectionism. 

Additionally, it prevents you from attaining your goals, causing more stress and dissatisfaction throughout your life.

Anxious-Ambivalent Attachments and How They Affect Us Emotionally

People with anxious attachments tend to be needy and demanding. 

They often experience a lot of conflict in their relationships, coming from a fear of being abandoned or rejected.

Anxious-ambivalent people are also prone to feeling jealous, possessive, and envious of others' successes. 

These feelings can lead them to act in ways that sabotage their relationships. 

Anxious-ambivalent attachment stems from childhood experiences such as parental rejection, abuse, and neglect.

Children who have emotionally unavailable caregivers develop anxiety about being left alone or separated from their parents. 

This leads them to become clingy and dependent on others for support and validation.

As adults, they continue to seek out partners who will give them what they need—attention, affection, reassurance. 

Unbalanced emotional dependency creates unrealistic expectations about relationships. 

They usually need loads of reassurance from their partner to feel secure. 

If they don't get enough attention, they may grow jealous or suspicious and accuse their partner of cheating.

People who feel insecure ask the following questions:
  • Do you love me?
  • Am I enough?
  • Am I good enough?
  • Do I deserve love?
  • What if my partner doesn't love me anymore?

When you feel uncertain about your relationship, you may need constant approval from your partner. 

You might even try to control the other person so that you never feel rejected again.

However, these efforts only set you up for more disappointment and heartache.

It's impossible to eliminate all risks in life, so trying to control everything will only lead to failure. 

Controlling someone else won't make them happy either.

When you worry too much about whether your partner loves you or whether your partner will leave you, it puts pressure on both of you.

Your significant other may start to feel suffocated by your jealousy and suspicion. 

Your partner may wonder why they need to put so much effort into maintaining the relationship. 

This results in a sense of emotional distance between you both.

Instead of talking about fun things, you spend time together talking about the problem—your insecurity. 

This makes it harder to feel close to each other and keeps you focused on negativity instead of positive aspects of your relationship.

How To Overcome Insecurity? 

The deep sense of insecurity may seem difficult to overcome, but it's achievable.

Here are some ways to help you heal and lead a more peaceful life. 

Overcome Insecurity by Acknowledging Your Value 

Feeling insecure is a reflection of having low self-esteem.

It has led you to undervalue yourself because of the emotional neglect you have endured. 

Make peace with your inner self by knowing that you deserve love and affection.

Learn to love yourself unconditionally to build up your self-confidence and make healthy choices for yourself. 

You are worthy to be loved no matter what mistakes you've made or what you've done in the past.

Focus on your strengths and accomplishments instead of dwelling on your weaknesses. 

Know that you have something valuable to contribute to society. 

Even if you don't feel it right now, something about you is special and unique. 

Change Negative Self-talk 

Negative experiences lead to you constantly putting yourself down. 

It can also manifest in depression and anxiety. 

Social media is often hailed as a tool for social connection, but several studies have shown the exact opposite. 

According to reports, these platforms promote unhealthy comparisons with others, leading to anxiety, loneliness, and low self-esteem.

Become aware of your negative self-talk and reflect on it to feel confident. 

Consider these questions: 

  • Are these thoughts based on fact?
  • Are they helping you move forward?
  • Or are they holding you back?

Be honest with yourself and look for ways to counteract your negative self-talk. 

Practice positive self-talk by focusing on what you like about yourself instead of what you don't like.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Don't criticize yourself if you make a mistake; instead, learn from it. 

Be grateful for the things that are going well instead of dwelling on problems.

Don't compare yourself to others; everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. 

You were born with a unique set of talents and skills – embrace them!

Keep in mind that building self-confidence takes time and practice. 

The more you focus on being positive, practicing gratitude, and being kind to yourself, the easier it will be to feel better about who you are.

 Nurture Supportive Relationships

Spending time with people who make you feel safe, understood, and appreciated makes you feel better. 

We all need others who will comfort us and encourage us. 

Their influence will positively impact your life and help you become a more secure individual.

By surrounding yourself with positive relationships, you can overcome any insecurities that hold you back from achieving your potential. 

Supportive friends are the ones who will help you through whatever obstacles you face. 

They provide an ear to listen when you have something important to say and an encouraging voice when things aren't going so well. 

Seek Professional Help 

Addressing insecurities through therapy is an effective way to overcome insecurity. 

It can help you feel better about yourself and your life, giving you a new perspective. 

If you're struggling with insecurity, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help guide you through the situation. 


Feelings of insecurity can have a profound impact on your mental health.

If you feel insecure, take time to connect with people who make you feel safe and valued. 

Spending time with these positive relationships can help you feel better about yourself and improve your well-being.

What's your favorite tip on how to overcome insecurity? 

Please let me know in the comments.

Remember, you are valuable, regardless of how others have treated you. 

Take care of yourself by spending quality time with friends and family members that give you value and support. 

Their encouragement will lift your spirits when times get tough.


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May 25th, 2024

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