How to Get Over Intimacy Anxiety

How to Get Over Intimacy Anxiety

Intimacy anxiety is a fear of being close to someone sexually or emotionally.

It can manifest as a fear of being physically intimate, or it can be expressed as a general reluctance to get too close to others.

This is important to overcome because it can stand in the way of healthy relationships.

Here are some things you can do to work through this anxiety. 

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What is it About Being Intimate that Makes you Anxious? 

The first step in getting over intimacy anxiety is to understand what it is about being intimate that makes you feel anxious.

For some people, the physical closeness involved in sexual or romantic relationships can trigger feelings of vulnerability, which may lead to anxiety and avoidance behaviors.

For others, the emotional closeness that comes with intimacy may be more anxiety-provoking.

There may be past experiences that have contributed to your anxiety, such as feeling rejected or betrayed by someone you were close to.

It is also common for people with intimacy anxiety to have difficulty trusting others and to feel like they need to keep a wall up to protect themselves. 

Identifying your specific triggers can

Once you know what it is about intimacy that makes you anxious, you can begin to work on addressing those specific issues. 

Some examples of triggers can be:

  • Being afraid of rejection
  • Feeling like you are not good enough
  • Worrying that you will be hurt emotionally
  • Fearing that your partner will leave you

These are all valid fears, but they can be addressed.

Identifying your specific triggers is a solid step to consider when learning how to get over intimacy anxiety.

Talk to Someone About It 

Dealing with intimacy anxiety can often feel like there's no way out.

This is especially true if you are trying to tackle this challenge on your own and don't have the support of a close friend or family member.

However, one of the most effective strategies for overcoming this fear is to talk to someone about it. 

Whether it's a therapist, a coach, or another trusted advisor, confiding in someone and sharing your experience can be incredibly liberating.

Not only will talking about your struggles help you to better understand what exactly is causing your anxiety, but it can also provide you with valuable insight and advice from someone who has been through something similar before.

With the help of a good confidant, you can begin to see just how far you've come and how much progress you've made in getting over your fears around intimacy.

So if you are struggling with intimacy anxiety, do yourself a favor and reach out to someone today. 

This is an important step to consider when learning how to get over intimacy anxiety.

Challenge Your Negative Thoughts about Intimacy 

When you are learning how to get over intimacy anxiety, it is important to challenge your negative thoughts about intimacy.

This can be particularly tricky, as anxiety often feeds on negative self-talk and harmful beliefs about relationships.

Whether you are struggling with a debilitating fear of rejection or intense objections about vulnerability, it is crucial to carefully examine the root of your fears and address any underlying problems.

One effective way to do this is by tracking and challenging your negative thoughts about intimacy, focusing on both conscious as well as unconscious beliefs. Some things you can say to yourself are:

  • "Intimacy is nothing to be feared."
  • "I am capable of having healthy, positive relationships with others."
  • "My anxiety does not have control over me."

By identifying, analyzing, and addressing these negative thoughts, you can gain greater control over your emotions, paving the way for healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the future.

So if you are looking to finally overcome your intimacy anxiety, you must learn how to challenge your negative thoughts about intimacy.

With time and persistence, you will be able to fully conquer this hurdle and become a stronger, happier individual in the process.

Practice Self-Care 

When it comes to overcoming intimacy anxiety, practicing self-care is essential. At first, this may seem challenging, as beginner exercisers are often nervous and fearful of their ability to follow through.

With the right mindset and a supportive environment, it is possible to start working towards your goals of deeper connection and higher confidence.

This may mean trying out different types of exercise, such as running, yoga, or swimming, or working with a therapist or coach to address any underlying issues that might be preventing you from fully engaging in intimacy.

Regardless of your approach, remember that self-care is at the heart of any successful journey towards greater intimacy and emotional well-being.

With time and practice, you will learn how to get over those initial hurdles and start connecting with others on a whole new level.

So if you're ready to overcome your intimacy anxiety once and for all, remember to put yourself first and embrace the journey ahead.

Take Things Slow and Don't Rush Into Anything

It is important to take things slow and not rush into any new relationships.

This may mean staying single for some time or only dating people who you feel comfortable with and confident in your ability to handle.

While this might seem counterintuitive at first, it will help ensure that you are ready for deeper levels of intimacy when the time comes.

Remember that your past experiences and emotions will continue to impact you, so it is important to take things at a pace that feels right for you.

With time and persistence, you will be able to fully overcome this hurdle and finally experience all the joys that come with healthy and fulfilling relationships. 

Get Therapy if Necessary 

If you find that you are struggling to get over your intimacy anxiety on your own, it may be time to seek professional help.

While this decision is not one to be taken lightly, therapy can be an incredibly effective way to work through any underlying issues that might be preventing you from fully engaging in relationships.

Whether you choose to see a therapist, counselor, or coach, the important thing is that you find someone with whom you feel comfortable opening up.

This person will be instrumental in helping you understand and address your fears around intimacy, so it is important to choose someone who you feel safe with and who you trust to help you on this journey.

If you are not sure where to start, you can ask your doctor for a referral, or look for local therapists in your area.

No matter what route you choose, remember that getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness. 


The content in this blog post is meant for informational purposes only. Do not use it as a substitute for professional medical advice. If you need help please contact a licensed professional.


If you're struggling with intimacy anxiety, know that you are not alone. 

This common issue can be overcome with time, patience, and a willingness to face your fears head-on.

Remember to practice self-care, take things slow, and get help if necessary, and you will be well on your way to a happier and more fulfilling life.

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