A healthy sex life is important to many people. Being able to perform sexually gives you confidence and...
A healthy sex life is important to many people.
Being able to perform sexually gives you confidence and makes your partner feel satisfied.
However, being unable to perform sexually can make you feel inadequate and make your partner feel undesired and/or unattractive.
Sexual performance anxiety is more common than you may think.
Many suffer from sexual performance anxiety and don't even know it.
The signs and symptoms of sexual performance anxiety may have debilitating effects on other parts of your relationship.
That's why seeking treatment is so important.
Disinterest in sex and/or the inability to perform often cause feelings of resentment, bitterness, a breakdown in communication, or feelings of low self-esteem.
In many cases, sexual performance anxiety is related to different forms of depression.
It is important to identify the signs of sexual performance anxiety and take them seriously.
Seek immediate treatment for sexual performance anxiety.
Don't ignore it or dismiss it.
Sometimes it's easier for couples to just not talk about sexual problems.
Talk about it. Get the support of a therapist.
Seek professional counseling. Treatment and help is available.
So, what are some of the signs of sexual performance anxiety?
One of the more obvious signs of sexual performance anxiety is low libido or a lack of interest in sex.
This sign of sexual performance anxiety can be most damaging when one partner desires sex, and the other shows a lack of interest.
It's difficult to express to your partner your desire for sex and then have them turn you down.
Being denied sex often makes people feel unattractive, undesired, and inadequate as a partner.
When a partner feels rejected or denied, it can cause them to develop feelings of anger and bitterness.
For many couples, low libido caused by sexual performance anxiety can be a silent destroyer of their relationship.
If not identified and treated with the help of a licensed professional counselor, low libido caused by sexual performance anxiety often leads to infidelity, separation, and even divorce.
A flaccid penis may be a sign of sexual performance anxiety.
A flaccid penis means an inability to get or maintain an erection.
It's important to note- a person may suffer from sexual performance anxiety and still desire sex.
Low libido, as discussed before, is not always a factor in sexual performance anxiety.
Sometimes a partner may desire sex, and even initiate sex, but is unable to perform.
Sexual performance anxiety may mean a partner can get an erection, but not maintain it.
Sexual performance anxiety may also mean a partner attempts, but cannot get an erection.
This aspect of sexual performance anxiety is particularly frustrating for both partners.
For example, beginning the sex act builds excitement and arousal, but an inability to finish may seem to ruin the moment.
Another example would be when a partner attempts to help the other get an erection without success.
Again, sexual performance anxiety often makes both partners experience feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and defeat.
For many, experiencing orgasm and successfully bringing your partner to orgasm is an important part of sex.
Inability to orgasm is often a sign of sexual performance anxiety.
A partner may be able to get and maintain an erection, even bringing their partner to orgasm, but not achieve an orgasm themselves.
Often this inability to orgasm creates feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
For example, if a partner cannot orgasm, it may cause their significant other to doubt themselves.
They may wonder: Am I not attractive anymore?
Would my partner be able to orgasm if they were with someone else?
Feelings like these can be emotionally damaging to partners involved with someone suffering from sexual performance anxiety.
Additionally, if a partner wants to but cannot orgasm, they may feel insecure towards their partner.
In a healthy relationship, you want your partner to feel loved and desired.
You want your partner to feel that they satisfy and fulfill you sexually.
Those who suffer from an inability to orgasm due to sexual performance anxiety may even begin to avoid sex, not wanting to fail or be reminded of inadequacy.
Often, a sign of sexual performance anxiety is premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation is when a partner can get and maintain an erection, but orgasms quickly, often leaving the other person unsatisfied.
Premature ejaculation due to sexual performance anxiety can leave a person feeling selfish.
They might think- I achieved orgasm but I didn't bring you to that place.
Conversely, someone with a partner who suffers from premature ejaculation often feels unsatisfied with sex.
They get aroused and put forth the effort, but reap none of the benefits.
If left untreated by a licensed professional counselor, premature ejaculation due to sexual performance anxiety may have dire consequences.
Someone with a partner who prematurely ejaculates may lose interest in sex with them, preferring masturbation or infidelity instead.
If you or someone you know suffers from premature ejaculation due to sexual performance anxiety, seek treatment from a licensed professional counselor.
As we have seen, sexual performance anxiety manifests itself in various ways depending on the individual.
No two cases of sexual performance anxiety are exactly alike.
There are, however, some signs of sexual performance anxiety specific to women and/or those who identify as female.
Vaginal dryness is often a sign of sexual performance anxiety.
Vaginal dryness is similar to an inability to get an erection.
A partner may desire sex, and still experience vaginal dryness.
Remember, the inability to get or maintain a penile or clitoral erection is not always a sign that someone doesn't desire sex.
You or your partner may desire sex, but signs like vaginal dryness make it challenging to enjoy it and achieve orgasm.
Another sign of sexual performance anxiety may be experiencing pain during sex.
Pain during sex may have any number of psychological, emotional, or physical causes.
Seek treatment from a licensed professional counselor if you or your partner experiences vaginal pain during sex.
There is treatment, it's just a matter of discerning the cause.
Much of human sexuality is very much a mystery.
And many couples have difficulty communicating honestly about sex.
A licensed professional therapist can provide support as an objective, third party, helping you communicate.
Sexual dysfunctions caused by sexual performance anxiety often have toxic and destructive consequences throughout a relationship.
That's why seeking immediate treatment for your anxiety is so important.
Get the help and support you need from a professional therapist.
Accurately identifying and treating the various signs and symptoms of sexual performance anxiety is crucial to healing.
That's why if you or someone you know suffers from any of the signs of sexual performance anxiety, seek help, support, and treatment.
Don't go it alone, and don't give up on the possibility of a healthy and happy sex life.
Together, you and your partner can get the support you need, by working with a professional counselor.
Together, you can find sexual healing and experience a deeper, healthier love relationship.
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
Addressing anxiety is crucial because it can significantly impact your quality of life and overall well-being. Left untreated, anxiety can lead to more severe mental health issues, relationship problems, and difficulty functioning in daily life.
It's important that you feel comfortable discussing personal matters with your therapist in order to open up and get more out of therapy sessions; therefore finding someone who meets certain criteria like experience level, expertise areas, and personality is key when selecting a therapist who can give meaningful feedback about how best handle issues related to anxiety or other mental health concerns.
To reduce your anxiety, you can practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and mindfulness practices. Additionally, regular exercise has been found to be beneficial in managing stress and improving mental health.
Medication is often prescribed for anxiety due to the fact that it works quickly to ease symptoms of distress or panic attacks in some cases. However, this should always be discussed with your doctor so they can provide guidance on what's right for you and the type of medication best suited for your needs.
The duration of anxiety counseling varies for each individual, depending on the severity of their anxiety and their progress in therapy. Our therapists will regularly assess your progress and adjust your treatment plan as needed.
Other activities which have been found helpful in reducing both immediate feelings of anxiousness and long-term anxieties associated with chronic disorders include yoga, journaling, nature walks, art therapy, volunteering, and other low-stress activities. Additionally, developing a healthy lifestyle incorporating adequate sleep, physical activity, and nutritious meals can help reduce overall stress levels.
