Ways to Avoid Raising a Narcissist

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In a world that sometimes seems obsessed with selfies, social media fame, and endless self-promotion, it's important for parents to navigate the delicate path of raising empathetic individuals.

While most parents want their children to be happy and successful, they also want to avoid raising a narcissist.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by inflated self-esteem, an insatiable need for praise and approval, and a lack of empathy.

In young children, narcissism typically manifests the same way.

Although narcissism is commonly diagnosed in adults, it can appear in children as young as 12.

This does not necessarily imply that they will develop narcissistic personality disorder but rather that they are typical for their developmental period.

However, if you as a parent observe any of these characteristics, it is crucial to find support for narcissism that can aid in your child's recovery.

There are also some ways to avoid raising a narcissist.

One of the fundamental building blocks of raising children that are emphatic is raising them with love.

However, while raising them with love is important, you must refrain from giving your child excessive and extreme praise if you want to avoid raising a narcissist.

Also, it is important that you allow your children to always understand the consequences of their actions.

If you are constantly shielding your child from experiencing the natural consequences of their actions, you are indirectly teaching that they are free from accountability.

One of the other effective ways to avoid raising a narcissist is to teach children the value of appreciation and gratitude for what they receive.

Children who are taught this grow to appreciate things and others' efforts more.

Below are more details on ways to avoid raising a narcissist.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Therapists in Colorado

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021
Dr. Michelle Palmieri, DSW, LSW

Dr. Michelle Palmieri, DSW, LSW

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 602-1342
Bali Fitzpatrick, LPCC

Bali Fitzpatrick, LPCC

(719) 345-2424

Love Your Children and Embrace Every Aspect of Who They Are

Showering your children with lots of love is one of the cornerstones of building empathy in them.

Everyone needs a bit of love.

The more you see your children as flawed (as we all are), the more you will be able to love them for their flaws.

When children are accustomed to hearing that they are never good enough at anything or that they never perform something properly, it can contribute to them developing narcissistic tendencies early in life.

One of the most precious things you can give your kids is acknowledging their flaws while continuing to love and accept them.

Keep in mind, though, that love on its own is not enough; it must be accompanied by guidance.

According to research, children who experience their parents' constant love and support are more likely to become emotionally intelligent and empathic adults.

Parents can help build a solid basis for good self-esteem and empathy by carefully listening to their feelings, recognizing their accomplishments, and creating a safe and supportive environment.

However, you must not overdo showering your children with love if you want to avoid raising a narcissist.

Instead, you should teach kids the importance of empathy and compassion for others.

By highlighting the significance of kindness and promoting acts of giving, you build a sense of empathy that reaches beyond their own needs and aspirations.

Allow Your Kids to Feel the Consequences of Their Actions

As parents, in your efforts to protect and nurture your children, you might feel tempted to shield them from experiencing the consequences of their actions.

However, if you find that you are constantly rescuing them from negative outcomes, you are inadvertently sending a message that they are free from accountability.

Thus, it is essential to allow your kids to face the consequences of their choices and actions to avoid raising a narcissist.

For instance, if your child neglects to complete their class project in time, you have to resist the urge to intervene and request special treatment from teachers.

This is unless there is a solid and reasonable reason why the said child couldn't complete the project within the stipulated time.

If the situation is otherwise, monitor their progress closely and help them establish a system that encourages responsibility.

When you are consistently enforcing the completion of tasks and studying until they demonstrate self-discipline, you empower them to take their academic responsibilities seriously.

Teach Appreciation and Gratitude for What Is Received

In the world today, there are too many people who have grown to take things for granted just because they don't want to.

As a parent, you can guide against this by actively teaching your children the values of appreciation and gratitude.

You can do this by showing them how to express gratitude for the simple things in life and acknowledging the efforts of others.

This way, you can nurture empathy and discourage self-centeredness in them.

For instance, when they receive gifts, you can tell them to write thank you notes to the person or simply tell them to express their gratitude verbally.

Over time, they will not only learn to appreciate things but also to show kindness and empathy to others too.

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Prioritize In-Person Communication Over Technology-Based Communication

In today's digitally connected era, it's very easy for children to become too absorbed in virtual worlds, thereby limiting their opportunities to participate in face-to-face interactions.

As a parent, you must prioritize in-person communication over technology-based communication.

When they learn to engage in direct conversations and spend quality time together with others, it fosters emotional connections and develops social skills.

Children can improve their reading of non-verbal cues, gain an understanding of different perspectives, and develop empathy through this.

It is recommended to encourage activities such as spending time together as a family by playing games, going out together, or having meals together.

When you foster real connections with others, you support your kids in building a sincere curiosity about people and growing their ability to understand and share others' feelings.

Give Compliments to Things That Deserve to Be Praised

Giving praise is an important part of developing a child's self-esteem and confidence.

However, it should be done carefully and with purpose.

While it is important to recognize and praise your child's accomplishments, you must make sure that your compliments are based on actual merit and genuine achievement.

Avoid giving insincere compliments or excessive praise.

Instead, concentrate on acknowledging and valuing the particular actions, qualities, or efforts that genuinely merit appreciation.

For instance, if your child is working hard on a school project or showing kindness and empathy towards others, it's important to acknowledge and compliment those specific behaviors.

When you give genuine and detailed compliments, you strengthen the belief that genuine achievements and favorable traits are deserving of acknowledgment.

This way, they learn to develop a positive self-image.


By implementing these five strategies, you can actively avoid raising a narcissist.

These strategies include loving your children and embracing every aspect of who they are, allowing them to feel the consequences of their actions, teaching appreciation and gratitude for what is received, prioritizing in-person communication over technology-based communication, and giving compliments to things that deserve to be praised.

If you have noticed some tendencies of narcissism, you should seek professional support for narcissism immediately. 


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July 24th, 2024

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