Learning how to shut down a narcissist is necessary if you have one around you.

They are typically self-involved and self-absorbed and tend to ignore other people's feelings.

Interacting with a narcissist can mentally drain you as they are willing to exploit others for personal gain and always expect preferential treatment and automatic compliance with their demands.

Narcissists refer to persons with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

NPD is a mental health condition.

Therapy for narcissistic people is encouraged as some people do not accept that they are narcissists.

Disarming a narcissist is not easy, and it requires you to understand the personality of a narcissist.

You need to understand that you can't control narcissistic behavior to disarm a narcissist.

What you can do, though, is to identify how not to let the actions and inactions of the narcissist affect you.

Majorly learn how to implement your boundaries and manage their behaviors by disarming them when necessary.

Setting boundaries in your relationship and interactions with narcissists is encouraged as a way to shut down a narcissist.

This helps you to better guide your relationship with the narcissist and prevent avoidable conflicts.

Also, do not accept responsibility for their actions.

It is typical of narcissists to shift and blame others for their actions, but you should refuse to take responsibility if it is not your fault.

Other ways to disarm a narcissist include ignoring their rage and building their self-esteem.

Learning to ignore the rage of the narcissist saves you a lot of stress.

Having good self-esteem prevents you from being a narcissist's victim as they are known to go after individuals with low confidence and courage.

You should also equip yourself with words and phrases that would help you when disarming a narcissist.

Set Boundaries

In setting boundaries, you need to know the limit and what lines can and cannot be crossed.

You do not owe the narcissist an explanation or a reason for your boundary set. Setting boundaries would not go well with the narcissist.

They may call you more names, argue with you, or try to convince you that you are overreacting or being unfair.

They would try to make you feel guilty or intimidated.

Establishing good boundaries may make you feel safer, stronger, and calmer.

In your interactions with narcissists, be blunt, firm, and assertive about what you need and expect.

This is a means to disarm a narcissist.

You may have to put your foot down in your interactions with narcissists as they are notable for always wanting to have their way even at the detriment of others.

Also, be ready to leave the relationship if it is unhealthy and hurtful to you.

Don't Accept Their Responsibility

Narcissists always want people to answer for their actions.

This may only calm them for a while but is however not sustainable.

It is preferred that you make them responsible for their actions and behavior.

Narcissists may also want to guilt trip you into feeling how they are feeling.

You do not have to do this.

If they are wrong, you do not need to take the blame as it can break your spirit after a while.

If you do not let the narcissist take responsibility, they'll keep putting the blame on you.

Allow them to handle their emotions as you are not responsible for their thoughts and feelings.

They will eventually get over it or move on to another effort to satisfy their needs.

Ignore Their Rage

Another way to disarm a narcissist is to ignore their rage.

Ignoring their rage deflates their ego.

An easy way to ignore them is using the grey rock approach.

This approach means that you choose to respond in a flat, calm, emotionless manner.

You can choose to be blank, and unresponsive to the rage of the narcissist.

A show of vulnerability or emotional reaction to a narcissist may increase the risk that they will put you down even more.

If you do not have the bandwidth at that point in time, better to ignore or excuse yourself until you can deal with it later.

Your reaction may either fuel the conflict further instead of reducing it.

The person may be trying to get an emotional response out of you, so the grey rock method is a useful tool to keep your cool and uphold your boundaries.

Silence goes a long way.

Build your Self-Esteem

A lot of narcissists target individuals with low confidence and courage.

Most times, people in relationships with narcissists have damaged self-esteem as constant interactions with narcissists would affect your self-esteem.

Building your self-esteem is a means to disarm a narcissist.

You need to consciously build your self-esteem back as it would help you to stand up for yourself.

If you want to build your self-esteem, you must have self-respect and set clear boundaries with a narcissist, no matter how low they make you feel.

Words to Say to a Narcissist

When having conversations with narcissists, there are some advisable phrases to use when they are getting out of line, and you need to shut them down.

You do not have to be rude to them but be firm and assertive in your interactions with them.

You may have to put your foot down in your interactions with narcissists as they are notable for always wanting to have their way even at the detriment of others.

Some of the phrases include "your opinions are as important as mine", "I respect your decisions, but I need you to understand…", "I'm usually uncomfortable when you…", "I'd love to maintain a respectful relationship" and "You're entitled to your opinion" amongst others.

Conclusion

Disarming a narcissist is not easy, and it requires you to understand the personality of a narcissist.

Therapy for narcissistic people is greatly encouraged.

Some ways to shut down a narcissist include setting boundaries, refusing to accept responsibility for their actions, ignoring their rage, building your self-esteem, and equipping yourself with words and phrases that would help you when disarming a narcissist.

Resources 

https://liveboldandbloom.com/09/emotional-abuse/how-to-shut-down-narcissist#7-4-dont-accept-responsibility

https://upjourney.com/how-to-shutdown-a-narcissist

https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/disarming-a-narcissist/

https://www.momjunction.com/articles/how-to-disarm-a-narcissist_00786705/