How to Stop Being a Narcissistic Partner

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In a world often enticed by self-centeredness, it's easy to get caught up in one's desires and needs over that of others, especially when you have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Nonetheless, recognizing that you need to change is the first step in the right direction, regardless of whether you have an NPD or you have only recently been aware of some narcissistic personality features.

Although narcissistic behavior can affect your relationships with loved ones, particularly romantic ones, you can change your ways with time and support for narcissism.

One of the methods to stop being a narcissistic partner is to discover your triggers.

Take time to identify the triggers that lead to self-centered behavior and narcissistic rage, among others.

Understanding what sets off these traits will help you work towards gaining control over your reactions and making more conscious choices.

Narcissistic traits in a person often stem from an inability to acknowledge and process their own emotions healthily.

As a result, you must take the time to tune in to your feelings, whether it is joy, sadness, anger, or vulnerability.

Although embarking on a journey of self-improvement can be challenging, seeking professional guidance can make all the difference and provide invaluable support.

Consider seeking out a mental health expert who specializes in narcissism or relationship counseling.

Below are more details on ways to stop being a narcissistic partner. 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Therapists in Colorado

Denise Itule, LPCC

Denise Itule, LPCC

(719) 345-2424
Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Shannon Matlock, LPC, NCC

Colorado Springs, Colorado
(719) 203-7021

Discover Your Triggers

Many people have "triggers," or specific events that can set them off.

Narcissists frequently deal with triggers as well.

In most cases, it is usually a pet peeve that irritates them and triggers their narcissistic traits.

As a result, understanding what triggers these patterns allows you to take control of your reactions and make acceptable decisions.

Perhaps your persistent need for validation stems from a fear of rejection or thoughts of inadequacy.

Make a note of your triggers or things that you notice makes you angry or act out of control.

It might not be something you can write down right away, but keep track of your triggers and emotions.

Once you can recognize them, you have a lot better chance of catching them before you act out.

Common triggers include your partner speaking down to you, ignoring you, or feeling like your partner is superior to you. 

Recognize Your Own Feelings

One of the root causes of how narcissistic people react is linked to their feelings and not being able to deal with them accordingly or in the right way.

You can learn more about your behavior by diving deeply into your feelings.

Narcissistic traits frequently result from a low sense of self-worth or a negative self-image.

One way you can understand your feelings is to practice awareness whenever you have a strong emotion and then try to delve deeply into it to discover where it came from.

For instance, when you think you're superior to your partner, you may be overcompensating for a lack of self-worth.

Or when you insult your partner, you might be doing it out of fear that they will leave you.

Try to practice self-compassion and the ability to recognize the validity of your own experiences without undermining or ignoring them.

This exercise will not only help you better understand who you are, but it will also make it easier for you to feel what your spouse is feeling.

View Your Partner as Your Equal

An inflated sense of superiority and entitlement is a defining characteristic of narcissism.

Any partnership requires that both parties be on the same level.

Narcissistic people may believe they are "better than" those around them at times.

It is important that you change your perspective and see your spouse as an equal: a distinct person with their own thoughts, feelings, and desires.

Accept the beauty of diversity in your relationship, and respect the strengths and weaknesses that both you and your partner bring to the table.

Remember to celebrate one another's accomplishments, offer support through times of difficulty, and actively listen to one another's needs and opinions.

If you ever find yourself feeling superior to your partner, try to catch yourself and remind yourself that you and your partner are both wonderful individuals who deserve to be happy.

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Respect Your Partner

Respect is the foundation of strong relationships.

In order to stop being a narcissistic partner, you must continually demonstrate respect toward your partner in order to break free from narcissistic traits.

When you're with your spouse, be courteous to them and avoid calling them names or yelling at them.

Always treat people the way you also want to be treated, and don't reject or disrespect them simply because you are having a bad day.

Narcissistic people sometimes mock or criticize their relationships in public.

Try to treat your partner with respect and avoid embarrassing or making them feel bad because you don't feel great.

Respect builds the foundation for trust and a deeper connection.

Speak With a Mental Health Expert

Another method to consider if you want to stop being a narcissistic partner is to see a mental health expert.

You are in a better position to work on improving your relationship with your partner if you can find a therapist who has experience treating the condition.

Because they've experience working with many others who have similar symptoms to you, such therapists will understand what you are going through.

An expert can help you identify coping mechanisms and work on your behavior.

They will also be more informed on the most recent studies in relation to the disorder, and they will have a better understanding of what works and what doesn't.

Discuss what you have noticed in your relationship and what you would like to improve with your therapist.

You will most likely start to see the benefits in your daily life over time. 


Adopting these methods is a courageous step towards stopping narcissistic patterns and creating more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Remember, this type of change is a process, and it requires consistent effort and support for narcissism.

Some ways to stop being a narcissistic partner include discovering your triggers, recognizing your own feelings, viewing your partner as your equal, respecting your partner, and speaking with a mental health expert.


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May 18th, 2024

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