Are narcissists insecure?

Undeniably, their personality displays some very troublesome traits.

However, some may wonder if this is just a way for them to protect themselves.

Maybe it's a complete facade that they've fabricated to keep people away from them because they don't want them to see their deepest, darkest insecurities.

With these things in mind, here are a few answers to "Are narcissists insecure?"

Narcissists Feel Anxious About Their Relationships.

They don't know how to approach relationships healthily.

When they feel like they're in too deep, they start to panic and want to run away without thinking about what they're doing.

Unfortunately, this gets them into more trouble.

When narcissists manage to stay in a relationship, the relationship is toxic.

This is a vicious cycle for them - something that'll eventually cause them intense destruction.

You'll never find a relationship with a narcissist that ends well.

Narcissists Always View Other People Negatively.

Another reason you may wonder "Are narcissists insecure" is that they are so judgmental.

They don't even take any time to get to know the person for whom they really are.

Instead, they're very judgmental and carry with them the belief that people have nothing but bad intentions for them.

Much of this stems from what they see on social media.

It leads them to build up walls and close off their hearts.

Therefore, all of their relationships are impure.

Although Narcissists are Perfectionists They're Also Never Satisfied.

With this in mind, you may ask yourself, "Are narcissists insecure?"

After all, they love to hide behind a facade.

They've learned to perfect this facade over many years which is why they aren't willing to accept anyone's shortcomings.

Instead, they demand that everyone meet their requirements and won't accept any excuses or errors.

When these requirements are unmet, all hell breaks loose.

Since these expectations are set so high that nobody could ever possibly meet them, a spiral of rage surrounds the narcissist.

Narcissists Struggle to Deal With Their Own Emotions and Would Rather Conceal Them.

Narcissists believe emotions are risky because they show weakness.

They'll do anything to not be vulnerable in this way.

Typically, this occurs because their tough upbringing prevented them from receiving love, affection, or guidance.

They weren't allowed to express their feelings and instead believe they must appear strong so people respect them.

This is where the question "Are narcissists insecure?" becomes a bit blurry.

Honestly, they're looking to conceal their pain.

To do so they've built a fort around themselves so they won't be hurt, disappointed, or betrayed.

While you may question "Are narcissists insecure?" when you dig deep down through their many layers you find that they want love and acceptance more than anything.

Unfortunately, their pain is so deep-rooted and has gone unaddressed for so long that they're no longer empathetic to other people's suffering.

Therefore, they tend to drive people away instead of having their "real" needs met.

Narcissists Can't Trust Anyone, Not Even Themselves.

It's as though the word "trust" were a foreign word to them.

This is why they seemingly believe that everyone is out to tet them.

Therefore, they become very cunning, so they can outwit others.

With this negative viewpoint, they find themselves unable to find happiness or establish genuine connections.

Conclusion

So, "Are narcissists insecure?"

Well, deep down inside, they feel completely inadequate.

They never feel as though they can measure, which is why they frequently lie and create an inflated sense of self around themselves.

The last thing they want to happen is to be judged or looked down upon.

This is why they won't admit to things in their life that they dislike or that aren't going the way they want them to.

All of this makes it very difficult to be around them.

So, if you need help to deal with a narcissist in your life, reach out to us at Overcomers Counseling.

We'll be here for you.

Resources 

 Are Narcissists Actually Covering Up Insecurity? | Psychology Today

What Drives Narcissism? (michiganpsychologicalassociation.org)

Why some narcissists actually hate themselves - BBC Worklife