Things You Don't Have to Tell Your Partner in Your Marriage

Things You Don't Have to Tell Your Partner in Your Marriage

It is common knowledge that most married adults spend a more significant percentage of their time at home with their partners. 

Due to this, they tend to discuss everything that happens to them with their partner. 

However, there are certain things you don't have to tell your partner.

Most people believe that marriage is not just a union of a man and a woman but a union of two families. 

Ideally, you should accept and love your partner's family. 

However, if you feel a certain way about your partner's family, sharing some little things you do not like about them is not advisable.

Often, your spouse is not the only person you ever dated.

It is possible you still have some feelings for your past lover.

It is not the best thing to tell your spouse about these scraps of feelings you have for your ex. 

Telling your spouse that you still have feelings for your ex would have them feeling insecure.

It is normal to have temporary crushes, even as a married person. 

However, when you have this kind of crush on your partner's friend, it is better to keep it to yourself till the infatuation fades away. 

Telling your partner that you have a crush on their friend could lead to awkward situations when you and your partner are around that friend.

It could also breed unhealthy rivalry between your partner and their friend.

Read on to broaden your knowledge on things you don't have to tell your spouse that could affect your marriage.

Available Marriage/Couples Counselors in Colorado

Gabriel Cruz Rosa, MFTC

I have always felt called to help others...

Aurora, Colorado

(720) 449-4121

Things You Dislike About Their Family 

It is normal to dislike minor things about your partner's family. 

However, it would help if you always remember that they have been with your partner from the beginning. 

What you dislike about them is one of the things you don't have to tell your partner.

You must be extremely careful when dealing with your partner's difficult family members. 

You can start by setting clear boundaries. 

Your partner's family should not dictate what goes on in your marriage. 

This way, you minimize issues that may cause a clash of interest between you and their family.

It would help if you also considered overlooking the minor issues. 

The fact that they are your partner's family is enough ground to manage some of their little excesses.

You should "pretend" to be okay with some of the annoying things they do unless, of course, they are toxic to your relationship.

Feelings You Have for an Ex

It's sometimes possible that we have an ex we still have some feelings for. 

Your feelings for a particular ex are one of the things you don't have to tell your partner. 

The details of your past relationships do not concern your partner, and you should keep them to yourself.

You might not have completely healed from a past relationship and still wonder what your ex is doing.

It is not something your spouse should know. 

Telling your spouse that you still have feelings for your ex could breed an unhealthy sense of insecurity.

Rather than telling your spouse about your feelings for your ex, it would help if you considered talking to a therapist about how you feel. 

It would be better for a therapist to help you get over your ex and maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse.

Thus, it is essential to keep certain things to yourself when you are married, one of which is the feelings you have for your ex.

A Crush You Have on Their Friend

It is possible to have a crush on your partner's friend, and this does not mean you are not in love with your partner. 

However, having a crush on your partner's friend is one of the things you don't have to tell your partner.

When you crush your spouse's friends, you should try to find out why you have a crush on them. 

Once you discover why you are crushing on them, it will be easier to tackle and get over the crush as quickly as possible.

For instance, you might find yourself crushing on your spouse's friend if you feel lonely in your relationship. 

To cure this, you can tell your partner how you feel and try to fix the issue. 

Also, it would help if you consciously try new things with your spouse to sustain the spark in your relationship.

Telling your partner about a crush you have on their friend would do more harm than good to your marriage. 

You wouldn't want something as temporary as a crush to affect your marriage, so it is best to keep it to yourself.

You Do Not Care

Words are like eggs. It is impossible to revert anything that has come out of your mouth. 

Thus, it would help if you were mindful of what you say. 

Saying that you do not care is undoubtedly one of the things you don't have to tell your partner.

Telling your spouse that you do not care about their feelings or you do not care about their dreams is not the best way to respond to your spouse when they tell you about something that is bothering them. 

The phrase "I do not care" screams lack of interest, and you should avoid it in your relationship.

Instead of saying you do not care, you could tell them that you would prefer to discuss the issue later. 

This way, you can manage your emotions and communicate better.

When you tell your partner that you do not care, it could indicate that you are no longer interested in them.

If you love your partner and are still interested in the marriage, you should never tell them that you do not care about them or something that concerns your relationship.

The Doubts You Have About the Marriage 

Sometimes, you might have some tiny doubts about your relationship with your spouse.

However, working on the doubts or why you have them is an excellent way to sustain your relationship with your spouse.

It is normal to have doubts about the longevity of your marriage, but this is one of the things you don't have to tell your partner.

Married people have doubts about their marriage sometimes. 

Lack of distrust is not what keeps a marriage. 

Instead, what you do when you have these doubts determines your marriage's longevity. 

When you have doubts, you must deal with them immediately.

When your partner says or does something that makes you doubt your relationship, you should take time to evaluate the situation. 

A single mistake should not rule out your trust in your partner.

As a married person, you should trust your partner.

It is usual for your mind to play tricks with you about you feel about your marriage.

However, it is our responsibility to filter the thoughts we have.

Conclusion

Marriage therapists always advise that communication and openness is the best way to sustain your relationship with your partner.

However, due to the sensitivity of the topic, there are certain things you don't have to tell your partner.

You don't have to tell your partner your negative feelings about their family, a crush you have on their friend, your feelings for an ex, doubts about your marriage, and that you do not care.

Resources 

https://www.bustle.com/life/things-you-dont-have-to-tell-your-partner

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/if-you-dont-like-your-partners-family-here-are-3-things-you-can-do-to-deal

https://www.romper.com/p/7-things-you-should-never-tell-your-partner-about-your-ex

https://www.bustle.com/p/7-secrets-you-dont-have-to-tell-your-partner-if-you-dont-want-to-7685898

https://love.allwomenstalk.com/tips-for-when-you-are-crushing-on-your-boyfriends-friend/

https://greatist.com/play/relationship-doubts-are-totally-normal

×
Stay Informed

When you subscribe to the blog, we will send you an e-mail when there are new updates on the site so you wouldn't miss them.

Related Posts

 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
September 27th, 2022