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How to Deal With an Angry Partner

Usually, a partner's anger can cause energy drain and frustration for you because of their outrage.

Their anger can also weaken the marriage's health.

Therefore, it's essential to learn how to deal with an angry partner to keep your mental health safe and your marriage solid.

Realizing your role in the cause of their anger can be a great way to deal with their anger.

When you identify your errors and faults and apologize to your partner for them, it will help them get calm because they can see your remorse.

When your partner is angry, you can also deal with their anger by showing them compassion in that state.

Under their anger are pain, fear, and insecurity, with anger just being protection against external elements.

Thus, being compassionate to them will enable you to soothe their other negative emotions

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Another way to deal with your partner's anger is de-escalating the incident.

Avoid getting angry in exchange because this will serve no other purpose than fuel their rage for a longer time.

Simply ensure you speak soothing words or give them space for a while.

You may consider a detailed overview of how to deal with an angry partner:

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Take Responsibility for Your Faults

Leaving an angry partner alone without owning up to your faults, especially when you were the primary contributor to their anger, can be detrimental to your marriage because they will get angrier.

Hence, an excellent way to deal with an angry partner is to take responsibility for your faults.

When you make mistakes, make sure you own them despite the discomfort of doing such.

It's vital that you maintain honesty when they are upset so it can help you face the issues and move forward together.

Once you have identified the faults, try to work toward change so that you may avoid repeating them.

If you do nothing about changing your ways, the situation will only occur again and give your partner another chance to get angry with you.

When seeking change, it's normal to promise to do better.

Ensure that you keep your promise to your spouse, as the failure to keep it indicates a lack of commitment to the marriage and a lack of conviction to change.

Be Compassionate Toward Them

Compassion helps you create a calming force against anger because it makes an angry person feel understood and loved.

If you want to deal with an angry partner easily, it would be best to be compassionate toward them to get their negative feelings down.

To best understand how to channel the compassion, think about yourself in their shoes.

You can recreate the scenario in your head and put yourself as their character.

Then, imagine the bad things happening to you and understand that you would have reacted the same way they are.

This will help you reduce your judgment, entering another form of compassion.

When you judge them less because you understand their perspective, that indicates sympathy for them in their angry state.

Also, when they are upset and telling you what caused it, give them your entire presence by listening attentively and replying to them as they require.

Doing this ensures that they understand that you are there for them when they need you.

De-escalate the Situation

De-escalation is a necessary component of resolving anger because it will help reduce the outrage and create an avenue to start the calm talk.

To deal with an angry partner correctly, you have to first de-escalate the situation before engaging their thoughts.

You can start by taking them into a private place if you are in a public place.

This ensures that the stress of being in the eyes of the public won't pressure them to get angry. It also allows you to have a meaningful conversation with them, safe from other people's judgment.

After leading them to a private space, make sure you respect their personal space.

Give them a distance of a few meters unless they specifically or non-verbally went a hug to calm down.

Similarly, ensure you keep your voice low and calm and your body language neutral so as not to make them eager to respond to any perceived anger with violence.

Also, be sure to focus on understanding their feelings rather than judge their words if they talk.

Think Long-Term

Since marriage is for a lifetime, it's expected that you should always think long-term in your dealings with your partner.

Thus, if you want to deal with an angry partner correctly, think long-term, and it will be easier to handle the situation.

When you know deep within you that you always want to be in a relationship with your partner, it will be easier to compromise.

Although their anger may be misplaced, you may give them leeway just for a couple of times while you make them understand you are simply letting things go for peace.

Thinking long-term also helps you come to terms with the fact that if they are angry with you for a bad behavioral trait of yours, you will need to change for the better to ensure a more fulfilled married life.

Also, you will be able to communicate better with them if you can see an eternal future with them.

Communication is a staple of long-term relationships as it involves partners sharing their feelings every time.

Man and woman touching their foreheads together.

Don't Control Them

Trying to control a partner to be less angry may be the first line of action for some people.

However, such action is terrible because the partner will only see it as an attempt to manipulate them.

Instead, you can deal with an angry partner by influencing them positively.

You can be a role model to them in terms of anger management.

Whenever you get angry, remember that your partner will also be watching how you behave while angry.

Hence, make sure to employ reasonable calmness so they may learn from you.

Similarly, when they are angry, you can distract them from the anger by talking about some other emotional positive thing they are interested in.

You may also show them funny clips or emotional pictures of your children.

Furthermore, make sure to stay calm rather than responding with anger, ensuring that your peaceful nature influences their rage-filled mind to calm down.

Conclusion

Facing anger in your personal life may be detrimental to your mental health because it's coming from your companion.

Nonetheless, you can deal with an angry partner by taking responsibility for your faults, being compassionate toward them, de-escalating the situation, thinking long-term, and ensuring you are not trying to control them.

Resources

https://newspring.cc/articles/fixing-your-marriage-starts-with-you

https://amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/10-easy-ways-to-cultivate-compassion--23406

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/8-strategies-for-dealing-with-angry-partner-1206165/amp/

https://hub.tmlt.org/tmlt-blog/de-escalation-techniques-and-resources

https://psychcentral.com/lib/5-secrets-to-a-successful-long-term-relationship-or-marriage#3

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About the author

Adewale Ayeni-Bepo

I'm a lawyer and content writer committed to helping people learn how to live mentally healthy lives. My pieces focus on identifying the issues and highlighting their solutions. It's my belief that every person can live a mentally healthy life.