How to Befriend Your Partner

How to Befriend Your Partner

Despite the many teachings about staying friends and companions in a marriage, many people still find it difficult to accomplish. 

It may be because of a lack of friendship before marriage. 

But whatever reason it may be, you can still befriend your partner by following certain tips.

One such tip is to create time to talk with your partner.

By talking with your partner, you will learn what makes them tick, what annoys them, and what excites them. 

You will be able to know the real them and not the persona created for marriage.

Furthermore, you befriend your partner by taking an interest in their activities.

When you know the activities they are passionate about, and you go out of your comfort zone to become a little bit knowledgeable, you are sure to remain best friends.

Also, you should try to allow conflict to occur in your marriage because friends generally have frictions. 

Solving the disagreement will help the friendship get stronger because you will realize that you need each other, and the conflict was just to know more about each other.

Follow these tips if you want to befriend your partner easily:

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Make Time to Talk 

Creating time to involve your partner in regular conversations can help you discover more about them and understand their thought processes. 

When you intend to befriend your partner, knowing more about them can help you know their likes and dislikes.

You can make your talks more exciting by changing the routine. 

Talking after work in the same pattern can become dull and keep you restricted to the same conversations. 

But if you change the location or topic of conversation, you will be sure to gain more insight into your partner.

Also, you can keep the conversation more active by inquiring with open-ended questions. 

nstead of asking Yes or No questions, ask them questions that request lengthy answers. 

With the long answers, you will be able to discover more about them and their activities.

And when you create time to talk to your partner, ensure that you are without any item that can distract you from them. 

They will want to also speak to you, but if you are getting distracted by your phone or the TV, it may prevent them from telling you more.

Take an Interest in Their Activities 

Usually, not all couples share similar interests. 

This may spell a problem if a partner greatly desires that the other person should share a love for their interests. 

Even if it doesn't cause a problem, if you want to befriend your partner, it's essential that you get connected to their interests.

You can gain some knowledge of their interests to engage in certain conversations with them.

When you converse with them, they will know you don't really know the topic, but they will be glad that you learned it because of them.

Similarly, you may even begin to get physically involved in their interests. 

For example, if your partner is an avid swimmer, you can join their swimming club, creating an opportunity for them to see that you genuinely love them.

Getting involved in their interests can help you create relationship rituals related to the activities. 

Since these rituals will be personal to you and your partner, you would have unlocked another level of friendship.

Permit Conflict 

Understanding that conflict is a part of almost all healthy relationships can help you befriend your partner. 

Rather than keeping malice because of a conflict, you will see it as an opportunity to resolve the issue amicably and come out stronger and tighter.

When there's an issue, be sure to talk about it with your partner.

Investigate the possible causes of the problem and choose the most likely one. 

Once you get the reason, it can help with resolving the issue.

When trying to resolve the issue, make sure it's not only one person involved. 

You and your partner should brainstorm possible solutions. 

The solutions should be considered based on their pros and cons to pick the best solution.

Once you have arrived at the best solution, initiate its execution.

Also, when trying to solve matters, it's crucial that none of you should jeopardize the process.

Instead, you should focus solely on resolving the issue.

Give Them Space 

An effective way to befriend your partner is to give them space in the marriage. 

Just like you will give your friends space to handle their other relationships and Interests, you should also give your partner that space, albeit to a lesser degree.

Just giving your partner space out of the blues can be disorienting for them; hence, it's vital that you notify them of your intention before you undertake the action. 

When you talk to them about it, and they accept, it will be easy to give space without them getting confused.

You can make the spacing cool by having a set schedule for space. 

Doing this and showing your partner the schedule will help them expect the next time you will give them space, allowing them to be prepared for it.

During the period of space, you can spend time with yourself, aiming for self-awareness and mindfulness practice.

You can also use the time to strengthen your friendships with other people and get support from them.

Remain Playful 

With the stress from balancing work and kids, a marriage may become too serious to remain playful with your partner. 

But if you are looking to befriend your partner, you will need to manage your responsibilities well while still creating time to be playful with them.

You can input a playtime into your schedule for continuous, regular play. 

Consciously tracking playtime can help you get used to it, allowing you and your partner to look forward to the play.

You don't have to play in a flashy fashion. 

You can just focus on small ways of playing, like a simple board game, card game, or charades. 

The point of playing is to have fun; you don't have to bother yourself with exorbitant games.

In your playing mode, you can try to get out of your comfort zone. Instead of sticking to the routine every time, you can engage in something you would typically not do.

If you haven't tried hiking or skiing, you can start from them.


If you befriend your partner in your marriage, you will have a stronger emotional bond and a more fulfilling connection.

You can try befriending them by making time to talk, taking an interest in their activities, permitting conflict, giving them space, and remaining playful in the marriage.


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April 17th, 2024

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